Define What You Want

“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” --Steven Covey

A clear vision, prioritized goals, and disciplined daily action are critical to achieving success in any endeavor. But with so many choices, how do you create and craft a clear vision?

As I stated in my last posting, I believe the first step towards living intentionally is to get clear about your values and take inventory of your strengths. Once you have clarified those for yourself, the next step is to begin defining what you want.

For some, this may feel overly simplistic. For others, it may feel difficult, futile, or a “pie in the sky” exercise. Still others might already know exactly what they want, or think they do. No matter your feelings about it, I encourage you to go through the exercise anyway. You might learn something new about yourself in the process. Make notes in the margins of your composition book as you work to describe any emotions that come up for you. (These may be keys to your blocks, which we will work with later.)

EXERCISE: Buy or find an empty composition notebook, and at the top of every third or fifth page, write one of the following headings:
• Physical / Health / Recreation
• Financial / Material
• Family
• Career / Job
• Social / Community
• Spiritual
• Mental / Intellectual
• Other

Before you start, feel free to consolidate or break apart these headings so that they make more sense to you. One size doesn’t fit all, and these are meant only as a starting point. Once you have labels you can live with, begin creating a list of everything you want under each of these headings.

As you continue with the exercise, feel free to continue to consolidate headings if it is easier for you, expand the list if you have identified other wants that don’t fit in these categories, or rearrange them in a way that is more pleasing to you.

In each category, write down everything imaginable. Let your ideas flow freely, be as impractical and outrageous as your imagination will allow. (You will have time later to prioritize, dream bigger, and create more focus.)

Try not to impose limits on yourself in any way during this exercise. There is no right or wrong answer!!

However, if you are struggling, here are some suggestions:

• If you have a terrible relationship with your family, it’s ok to write “I no longer want to see these people” under the heading “FAMILY”. Then be sure to scribble your emotions in the margins … “I got an uneasy feeling as I wrote this” or “this made me positively giddy with joy.”

• If you are overwhelmed with life, and are missing out on fun, but can’t see any way to let go of your responsibilities to find time for yourself, maybe in the family category you can write down “I want my chores to miraculously disappear so I can go to the movies with a friend.”

• If you were recently laid off from a job, or suffered a disappointing break up, and can only think about what you miss about that particular person, or that particular job, try to be more definitive about WHAT you will miss about them. For example, if you really hated your job, but the money was great, write down “I want a job that I love that pays $xxx”. If you miss particular things about that special person, define them. For example, “I want a relationship with someone who is passionate and exciting.”

I suggest you set aside 15 – 30 minutes / day over the next week or two and come back to the list to add more ideas. This gives the wants time to percolate, and provides an opportunity for new wants to make themselves known to you.

Have fun with this! For more tools, advice, recommended reading, or more about my philosophy or background, you can view my website. If this exercise has you stumped, and you would like additional tips or suggestions, feel free to contact me.