“Success is only another form of failure if we forget where our priorities should be.”
--Harry Lloyd
In step two, we suggested you create a “want list” broken down into specific categories. You should now have a good sized list. The next step is to go through and prioritize that list, ensuring that your most desired wants are the ones you focus on.
Because I’m such a visual person, when I have a list to sort through, I like to use index cards. To do this, transfer a key point (something that identifies that want clearly to you) from every want in every category onto an index card, label it with its category on the back side, and then start sorting. First, prioritize the categories themselves; put them in order from most important to you, to least important to you. Secondly, sort each want in each category hierarchically from most desired to least desired. When you finish, you should have several piles of index cards laid out in front of you from most important to least important, and each of those piles should have your wants prioritized from most wanted to least.
Lastly, double check yourself. Take the top two wants from the top three categories, and sort those into hierarchical order from most wanted to least wanted. This should determine that these six wants are truly your top six. Don’t worry about whether or not you believe any of your wants are feasible right now. If they evoke a very strong desire, make them a priority.
Now narrow these down to your top three wants. Three (four at the most) is the magic number for realistic and focused action. Any more than that leads to a refraction of energy, and makes it more difficult to give any of them the right amount of focus.
Once you have your top three wants identified, go back to your earlier work on your values and strengths, and start identifying how these wants relate to your values, and how your intrinsic strengths can help you achieve them. Make notes in your notebook.
(If you’re struggling with this, it’s a great time to bring in a coach or a friend who has good insight to help you walk through this step.)
This exercise forms the basis for the strategic plan that will bring you to a life of vitality and intention.
For more information or detail about this exercise, feel free to e-mail me, or view my website.
Enjoy the process!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Define What You Want
“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” --Steven Covey
A clear vision, prioritized goals, and disciplined daily action are critical to achieving success in any endeavor. But with so many choices, how do you create and craft a clear vision?
As I stated in my last posting, I believe the first step towards living intentionally is to get clear about your values and take inventory of your strengths. Once you have clarified those for yourself, the next step is to begin defining what you want.
For some, this may feel overly simplistic. For others, it may feel difficult, futile, or a “pie in the sky” exercise. Still others might already know exactly what they want, or think they do. No matter your feelings about it, I encourage you to go through the exercise anyway. You might learn something new about yourself in the process. Make notes in the margins of your composition book as you work to describe any emotions that come up for you. (These may be keys to your blocks, which we will work with later.)
EXERCISE: Buy or find an empty composition notebook, and at the top of every third or fifth page, write one of the following headings:
• Physical / Health / Recreation
• Financial / Material
• Family
• Career / Job
• Social / Community
• Spiritual
• Mental / Intellectual
• Other
Before you start, feel free to consolidate or break apart these headings so that they make more sense to you. One size doesn’t fit all, and these are meant only as a starting point. Once you have labels you can live with, begin creating a list of everything you want under each of these headings.
As you continue with the exercise, feel free to continue to consolidate headings if it is easier for you, expand the list if you have identified other wants that don’t fit in these categories, or rearrange them in a way that is more pleasing to you.
In each category, write down everything imaginable. Let your ideas flow freely, be as impractical and outrageous as your imagination will allow. (You will have time later to prioritize, dream bigger, and create more focus.)
Try not to impose limits on yourself in any way during this exercise. There is no right or wrong answer!!
However, if you are struggling, here are some suggestions:
• If you have a terrible relationship with your family, it’s ok to write “I no longer want to see these people” under the heading “FAMILY”. Then be sure to scribble your emotions in the margins … “I got an uneasy feeling as I wrote this” or “this made me positively giddy with joy.”
• If you are overwhelmed with life, and are missing out on fun, but can’t see any way to let go of your responsibilities to find time for yourself, maybe in the family category you can write down “I want my chores to miraculously disappear so I can go to the movies with a friend.”
• If you were recently laid off from a job, or suffered a disappointing break up, and can only think about what you miss about that particular person, or that particular job, try to be more definitive about WHAT you will miss about them. For example, if you really hated your job, but the money was great, write down “I want a job that I love that pays $xxx”. If you miss particular things about that special person, define them. For example, “I want a relationship with someone who is passionate and exciting.”
I suggest you set aside 15 – 30 minutes / day over the next week or two and come back to the list to add more ideas. This gives the wants time to percolate, and provides an opportunity for new wants to make themselves known to you.
Have fun with this! For more tools, advice, recommended reading, or more about my philosophy or background, you can view my website. If this exercise has you stumped, and you would like additional tips or suggestions, feel free to contact me.
A clear vision, prioritized goals, and disciplined daily action are critical to achieving success in any endeavor. But with so many choices, how do you create and craft a clear vision?
As I stated in my last posting, I believe the first step towards living intentionally is to get clear about your values and take inventory of your strengths. Once you have clarified those for yourself, the next step is to begin defining what you want.
For some, this may feel overly simplistic. For others, it may feel difficult, futile, or a “pie in the sky” exercise. Still others might already know exactly what they want, or think they do. No matter your feelings about it, I encourage you to go through the exercise anyway. You might learn something new about yourself in the process. Make notes in the margins of your composition book as you work to describe any emotions that come up for you. (These may be keys to your blocks, which we will work with later.)
EXERCISE: Buy or find an empty composition notebook, and at the top of every third or fifth page, write one of the following headings:
• Physical / Health / Recreation
• Financial / Material
• Family
• Career / Job
• Social / Community
• Spiritual
• Mental / Intellectual
• Other
Before you start, feel free to consolidate or break apart these headings so that they make more sense to you. One size doesn’t fit all, and these are meant only as a starting point. Once you have labels you can live with, begin creating a list of everything you want under each of these headings.
As you continue with the exercise, feel free to continue to consolidate headings if it is easier for you, expand the list if you have identified other wants that don’t fit in these categories, or rearrange them in a way that is more pleasing to you.
In each category, write down everything imaginable. Let your ideas flow freely, be as impractical and outrageous as your imagination will allow. (You will have time later to prioritize, dream bigger, and create more focus.)
Try not to impose limits on yourself in any way during this exercise. There is no right or wrong answer!!
However, if you are struggling, here are some suggestions:
• If you have a terrible relationship with your family, it’s ok to write “I no longer want to see these people” under the heading “FAMILY”. Then be sure to scribble your emotions in the margins … “I got an uneasy feeling as I wrote this” or “this made me positively giddy with joy.”
• If you are overwhelmed with life, and are missing out on fun, but can’t see any way to let go of your responsibilities to find time for yourself, maybe in the family category you can write down “I want my chores to miraculously disappear so I can go to the movies with a friend.”
• If you were recently laid off from a job, or suffered a disappointing break up, and can only think about what you miss about that particular person, or that particular job, try to be more definitive about WHAT you will miss about them. For example, if you really hated your job, but the money was great, write down “I want a job that I love that pays $xxx”. If you miss particular things about that special person, define them. For example, “I want a relationship with someone who is passionate and exciting.”
I suggest you set aside 15 – 30 minutes / day over the next week or two and come back to the list to add more ideas. This gives the wants time to percolate, and provides an opportunity for new wants to make themselves known to you.
Have fun with this! For more tools, advice, recommended reading, or more about my philosophy or background, you can view my website. If this exercise has you stumped, and you would like additional tips or suggestions, feel free to contact me.
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About Me
- Kristin
- "Success is loving who you are, loving what you do, and loving how you do it." --Maya Angelou. I am a writer, life coach, instructor and organizational consultant, exploring the intersection between neuroscience, quantum physics, positive psychology, the expressive arts, wilderness, and the wisdom traditions. I am fortunate that I am able to live the life I love in beautiful natural settings, hang out with my eleven nieces and nephews, hike elk and other wilderness trails with my dogs, and explore mountains and rivers in the Pacific Northwest.
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